Price list

Transparent prices for the destruction of your lifestyle. Discounts for regular victims.

Reconnaissance

Territory exit. Sniffing. Target identification. Free purring consultation.

Free
0-5 min

Furniture destruction

Scratches, bite marks, designer upholstery. Guaranteed mark on every piece.

$1/scratch
Ongoing

Plant annihilation

Complete elimination of houseplants. From leaves to roots. Eco-disposal in the stomach.

$0.50/leaf
1-3 days

Night chaos

Races, meowing, bag rustling. Guaranteed wake-up.

Free
3:00 - 5:00 AM

Training

We'll teach you to buy the right food, clean the litter box, and pet in the right direction.

Included
Ongoing

Purring

Continuous purring on your lap. Therapeutic effect. Side effects: falling asleep.

Priceless
While being petted

Not sure which service you need?

Just bring the cats home. They'll figure it out themselves.

Start the chaos

Start the chaos

Tell us what kind of chaos you need. We'll arrange it.

We don't share data with third parties. Your cats are safe.